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Building Stronger Remote Teams Through Relatedness

Written by: Shane Spraggs

Remote work has undeniably transformed how we collaborate, but success requires more than good tools and clear processes. To understand how to tap into what motivates us as humans, we can look to self-determination theory (SDT), a framework developed by American psychologists Edward Deci and Richard Ryan in the 1980s.

SDT identifies three key drivers of human motivation:
autonomy, the desire to control one’s work; competence, the need to feel skilled and effective; and relatedness, the longing to connect and belong. While autonomy and competence often get the spotlight in remote work conversations, relatedness—the sense of trust, familiarity, and shared purpose—quietly underpins successful collaboration.

Without relatedness, remote teams can feel fragmented, transactional, and disengaged. But here’s the good news: relatedness isn’t an accident. It’s something you can intentionally cultivate. Let’s explore how managers can build stronger team connections, starting with the pivotal onboarding process.

The Key to Strong Starts: Onboarding

Onboarding is your first, and possibly best, opportunity to set the stage for relationships. It’s not just about giving someone a laptop and access to tools; it’s about helping them connect.

  • Map Out Relationships: Before a new hire starts, document the key people they’ll need to work with. Who are they? What’s their role in the new hire’s work?

  • Plan the Introductions: Take charge of making these connections. Don’t just tell the new hire, “Go meet so-and-so.” Schedule video calls, carve out time in team meetings, and include one-on-ones with leadership. For example, I strongly recommend CEOs take 30 minutes to meet every new hire in their first week. It sends a powerful message about the importance of connection.

  • Assign an Onboarding Buddy: A buddy can answer questions, provide informal guidance, and introduce the new hire to their colleagues in a comfortable, low-pressure way. Just be sure the buddy understands their role and has clear expectations.


Prior to hiring your next team member, take a moment to strategize how you will approach their first three months. When I recently hired an HR lead, I knew they would need to form relationships with everyone in the company. But introducing them to the whole team couldn’t happen overnight. So, I arranged to join the first 15 minutes of each department’s weekly meeting to introduce the new hire. This approach allowed team members to meet their new colleagues in a manageable way while setting the tone for collaboration.

While onboarding sets the stage for connection, building and maintaining relationships requires consistent effort. Managers play a critical role in keeping these bonds strong long after the first week.

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Keep It Going: Build Relationships Daily

Relationships aren’t built in a day, and they certainly won’t last without effort. Managers play a key role in keeping the momentum alive.

  • Start Meetings with Icebreakers: A good icebreaker can elevate team interactions beyond small talk. Instead of asking about the weather, try something more engaging: “What’s your favourite vacation spot?” or “Share a surprising skill you have.” These small moments can create shared experiences that stick.

  • Leverage Team-Building Activities: Remote team building doesn’t have to be awkward or overdone. Whether it’s a simple online game or a problem-solving challenge, make sure activities pair team members who don’t normally work together.

  • Master Meeting Facilitation: Inclusive meetings where everyone feels heard strengthen team dynamics. Train managers to facilitate effectively—it’s a skill worth investing in.


Taking advantage of my work on The Power of Remote, I established a weekly routine to try different team-building activities with my team. Framing it as a research project, we systematically tried out almost 50 team-building games. This experiment didn’t just build a stronger team culture; it also created an environment where collaboration and connection came naturally—even if the games were a bit corny.

Beyond daily interactions, one of the most impactful ways to nurture relatedness is by involving your team in meaningful work.

Involve Your Team in the Work

A team works best when they’re part of the process, not just handed a list of tasks. Involving them in planning, brainstorming, and decision-making creates shared experiences and builds trust.

  • Break Down Projects Together: Invite your team to collaborate on task discovery. Instead of dictating tasks, ask, “How do we best achieve this goal?”

  • Open Up Strategy Discussions: In high-performing teams, even big-picture decisions involve input from all levels. When employees hear each other’s ideas and have a voice in the process, they’re more likely to connect—and stay engaged.
     

When starting yearly planning, I begin with department-wide retrospectives. These sessions provide invaluable insights into what’s working, what needs improvement, and spark innovative ideas for the year ahead. Capturing and summarizing team feedback ensures the planning process addresses real needs and opportunities.

Involving team members early improves transparency and trust. It allows me to clearly communicate why certain priorities are chosen, significantly increasing buy-in and alignment with the final plan. This collaborative approach ensures the plan reflects organizational goals and team insights, creating a stronger foundation for success.

Even with the best strategies in place, it’s important to make sure your efforts are hitting the mark. Regularly gathering feedback from your team can help refine your approach and continue improving relationships.

Measure and Improve

Early in my management career, I introduced a quarterly anonymous survey to gather feedback on how I was performing. I asked team members to rank me on five key areas, such as whether they felt supported, if they found value in our one-on-ones, and if I was an effective leader.

The responses gave me a clear picture of what I was doing well and where I needed to improve. Over time, the metrics and trends helped me adjust my approach and build stronger relationships with my team. It also gave me evidence of my growth to share with my boss, turning feedback into a powerful tool for professional development.

 

To make sure you’re on track, you need feedback. Here are some tangible ways to measure and quantify your progress. 

  • Run Employee Net Promoter Score (eNPS) Surveys: Ask, “How likely are you to recommend [Company] as a great place to work?” Analyze responses to identify cultural strengths and areas for improvement.

  • Interview New Hires: At the three-month mark, check in to see how onboarding went. Did they build the relationships they needed? What could be improved?

  • Conduct Stay Interviews: Don’t wait until someone’s leaving to ask for feedback. Regular check-ins with standardized questions can surface valuable insights about your team’s relational dynamics.

  • Get Feedback on Your Leadership: Send anonymous surveys to your team to understand where you excel and where you need to improve.


For remote teams, tools like anonymous surveys, stay interviews, or even informal check-ins can reveal the health of relatedness within your organization. Act on the feedback, and let your team see the results of their input—it’s a cycle that builds trust and connection.

The Bottom Line: Tying it Back to Self-Determination Theory

At the heart of high-performing remote teams lies the ability to meet fundamental human needs outlined by self-determination theory: autonomy, competence, and relatedness. While autonomy and competence are often front of mind in remote work, relatedness is the glue that turns a group of individuals into a cohesive, collaborative unit.

Remote managers must prioritize team relatedness. It doesn’t happen organically, as it might in an office environment. Casual interactions that naturally build trust and familiarity in person are absent remotely, meaning managers need to be intentional about creating opportunities for connection.

From thoughtful onboarding that prioritizes relationship-building to daily practices like team activities and inclusive discussions, managers can create environments where employees feel connected, respected, and valued. Feedback mechanisms like surveys and retrospectives ensure these efforts remain effective, continuously improving the team dynamic.


Your Next Step: Reflect on how your current practices meet these needs. What small change can you make this week—whether it’s a new onboarding approach, a team-building activity, or simply gathering feedback—to help your team connect and thrive?

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